Habit is Human

In the ongoing exploration of the profound truth that “To Sell is Human,” the concept of sales is deeply intertwined with love, connection, and the adventurous pursuit of the highest good, or Summum Bonum. True sales is characterized as a curious, connected service to humanity, a proactive win-win negotiation with the world around us, distinct from manipulation or indifference. A crucial question that emerges is how to consistently embody this humane approach to selling. The answer lies in the quiet, relentless force of habit.

To sell is to proactively shape the world around us, and this shaping of our lives, relationships, and the world is achieved through the relentless force of habit. Without the conscious cultivation of powerful habits, and a system that supports the Summum Bonum, even the noblest intentions and the deepest understanding of sales’ human essence will fall short.

The Unseen Architecture of Our Lives: Habits

At our core, humans are creatures of habit. Your daily efforts, personal growth, and professional results are not just products of aspiration, but the direct output of your ingrained habits. A sobering truth is that we don’t necessarily rise to the level of our aspirations; instead, we fall to the level of our habits. What you consistently do is who you are; your habits, over time, sculpt your very identity.

The distinguishing factor between humans and animals regarding habit is our profound ability to choose the habits we develop and which we drop. If we merely default into habitual behavior, letting unconscious patterns dictate our actions, we are, in a sense, acting like beasts, losing our personal agency. To truly lead and sell, we must exert that agency over our habitual inclinations.

Beyond Goals: The Power of Systems

Many people are fixated on goals, which are wonderful for defining direction. However, setting goals alone is not enough. In organizations, individuals with the same sales expectations often yield vastly different results. The critical gap between your goals and your actual results is your system. A system is simply a way of doing things—a collection of strategic habits. Examples include how you answer the phone, the number of cold calls you make, your approach to sales appointments, or how you follow up with prospects.

A compelling reward of focusing on process and building robust systems is how it leverages our brain’s natural reward mechanism. Dopamine is the brain’s reward system. If the sole focus is on a big goal, like closing a major deal, there’s only one opportunity for a satisfying dopamine hit. But by focusing on the process—the small, consistent actions that make up your system—there are virtually unlimited opportunities for dopamine rewards. Celebrating initiatives like talking less and being curious in a meeting, executing a weekly plan, or simply asking for the order (regardless of the outcome) provides continuous reinforcement, making consistent action a reward in itself.

The “Slight Edge” and Building Habits

Two of my favorite books on habit are Jeff Olson’s “The Slight Edge” and “Atomic Habits” byt James Clear.  Olson termed the idea of consistent small actions leading to massive results as “The Slight Edge”: Simple smart choices + consistency x time = radical results. This philosophy is key to success in sales and in life. The challenge, however, is that it’s just as easy to do the small wrong things, or nothing at all. The “slight edge” philosophy highlights consistency but doesn’t inherently provide the strategy to build those right habits consistently.

Atomic Habits provides some very practical strategies for building good habits – a strategic system. To strategically build the right habits consistently, “Atomic Habits” suggests three primary tools to make good habits easier and more ingrained:

1. Identity: Perhaps the most powerful tool is to redefine who you are. What you do is who you are. Instead of saying “I am trying to quit smoking,” say “I don’t smoke“. This latter statement is far more powerful because it aligns with a new identity. If you identify as “a healthy person,” you will naturally do only those things that match that identity. Similarly, if you want to be a successful salesperson, first identify as one, then ask what successful sales producers do, and then do those things. This shift from “having a goal” to “being a person” is transformative.
2. Automation: We have a limited amount of willpower each day, like a reservoir that depletes as we make decisions. This is why it gets harder to make the right decisions as the day wears on. The key to overcoming willpower fatigue is to automate the right behaviors and make the wrong behaviors difficult, thus preserving your willpower reservoir. Look for single decisions that prevent you from having to make many small decisions later. For example, direct a portion of each direct deposit to savings, or make it a rule to never quote a price before thorough discovery in sales. If you want to work out in the morning, lay out your workout clothes the night before.  Remove friction to make the right actions easy.
3. Rewards: As mentioned, leveraging the brain’s dopamine system by focusing on process provides continuous positive reinforcement for desired actions. For instance, watching your favorite show only while on the exercise bike, or getting an afternoon coffee only after having several meaningful, in-person business discussions.  Dopamine is the reward – reward good behavior.  

Embracing Difficulty: The Willpower Muscle

While it is wise to make the right things easy whenever possible, the reality is that influence and sales inherently require us to push out of our comfort zones and do difficult things at times. The good news is that we can actually get better at this; we can build our capacity to do difficult things, essentially building a bigger willpower reservoir.

Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman emphasizes that willpower is truly like a muscle. It can be strengthened through practice and repetition. It’s not about a single act of immense willpower, but repeated practice that fortifies the neural pathways involved in self-control. When you force yourself to do something you’d rather avoid, your prefrontal cortex sends signals that override your initial reluctance, and your brain begins to associate that action with a positive outcome—even if it’s just the relief of completing the task. This strengthens the neural connections, making it easier to repeat the behavior in the future.

Huberman points out that simply doing positive things that you want to do does not build this willpower muscle in the same way. It is the act of confronting something challenging or uncomfortable and doing it anyway that truly builds this capacity. Examples include cold plunges or Jiu Jitsu training, where one deliberately exposes themselves to intense physical and psychological strain for the reward that comes after the activity, rather than during.

Walking through an unfamiliar door, asking a difficult question, or pushing through nervousness to be authentic and curious—these actions build the willpower muscle. If something makes you nervous, but you do it anyway, that’s where the growth happens. By understanding these neural mechanisms, individuals can develop powerful strategies to improve self-control and achieve sales goals, even when faced with challenges and temptations.

The Call to Consistent Action

To sell is human, not just because it’s about connection, adventure, and negotiation, but because it involves the consistent, disciplined, and often courageous application of our daily habits. Our ability to influence, create value, serve customers and teams, and truly pursue the Summum Bonum hinges on a system built by small, smart choices that are made and executed consistently over time.

The wine-dark sea of human exchange beckons. The call is to answer by deliberately shaping your habits, building your systems, and strengthening your resolve to consistently do what is right, even when it’s hard. The habits you cultivate are the very foundation upon which your adventure unfolds.