To Sell Is Human – Because To Fear Is Human

In our ongoing journey to understand the profound truth that “To Sell is Human,” we’ve explored how selling is fundamentally about connection, service, negotiation, and the adventurous pursuit of the highest good, or Summum Bonum. We’ve talked about how true sales is a curious, connected service to humanity, a proactive, win-win negotiation with the world around us, distinct from manipulation or indifference. But as we answer life’s adventurous call, striving to influence, to build, and to serve, we often encounter a formidable barrier: fear.

Perhaps the biggest obstacle to embarking on that great adventure, to experiencing true love, to leading boldly, and yes, selling well, is fear.

The Dragon and the Treasure

Across almost every culture, in lore and legend, great treasure is always guarded by a dragon. It’s a universal truth that risk must be taken for reward. If we want the gold, if we truly want to achieve our Summum Bonum—that highest good—we must be willing to face the dragon. Your Summum Bonum is on the other side of your fear.

The Unique Nature of Human Fear

Animals experience fear, yes, but for them, it’s typically based on instinct or past trauma. Humans, however, have a unique capacity when it comes to fear: we love to employ our creativity in it. We possess the ability to dream up all sorts of worst-case scenarios and imagined hurts that stack up to keep us paralyzed. I know I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

Of course, some fear is incredibly useful—the fear of a lion, or an approaching tornado, or fear for your family’s safety. If it’s founded in reality and you can act rationally in response, it’s helpful. But much of what paralyzes us is fabricated in our minds.

We tell ourselves many specious stories: “I’m not good enough, strong enough, or smart enough.” We also convince ourselves, “there’s not enough to go around,” “they don’t like me,” or “I’m going to look stupid.” Ultimately, much of what we fear is based on a lie.

We even fall for the lie that others can control our feelings or somehow hurt us. We wrongly believe that another’s rejection determines our worth or who we are. It is truly remarkable how our natural human default is to think the worst.

My executive coach Su calls these voices the “itty-bitty-$#itty-committee.” That snarky sobriquet makes me smile. The committee convenes in your head, spinning disempowering narratives and framing you as an impostor. This clamorous committee is crummy counsel. Even if some of these tales they spin are true, most of what they clamor about is out of our control anyway. Clear them from your cranial conference room!

Fear of Rejection: The Dragon of Sales

In sales, the dragon we most commonly face is the fear of rejection. Let’s be honest, rejection doesn’t feel good. It can trigger many of those deep, dark lies. But what you will find when you face this dragon is that he is not as terrible or dangerous as he looks. True sales, that curious, connected service to humanity, presses beyond the initial resistance rooted in insecurity or misunderstanding. If you believe that “doing sales” means manipulating, you’ll lack the conviction to push past resistance. But if it’s true service, what is there to fear?

Embracing Failure

Failure is real, and failure is as human as fear. But failure does not define you, unless you let it define you. The truth is that mountain you see any successful person standing on is actually a big pile of failure. We must be willing to “fail forward fast.” Our capacity for willpower, to do difficult things, grows when we confront something challenging or uncomfortable and do it anyway.

When it comes down to it, especially in the context of sales and influence, there is truly nothing to lose.

• Do you have a better chance of making a sale sitting in your car or walking in the door?
• Will you find out where you stand as a vendor if you ask, or just hope for the best?
• Will you get more business if you ask for it, or if you don’t ask at all?

The answers are obvious. What is an adventure without a little risk, anyway? The wine-dark sea beckons.

The Call to Action

If you are reading this, you have likely been hired to be a leader, an influencer, to sell. That means facing the dragon is non-negotiable. To sell is human, not just because it’s about connection and adventure, but because fear is human.

Chase your fears! That unfamiliar door, that difficult question, that nervousness about being authentic and curious—these are the very things that build your willpower muscle and enable your growth. If it makes you nervous, but you do it anyway, that’s where the growth happens.

Love well – sell well. And lead well, too, by bravely confronting the fears that stand between you and the Summum Bonum.