I finished Daniel Pink’s book “To Sell is Human” a month ago. For me, the best part of the book, the thing that has stuck with me, is simply the title: “To Sell is Human”—a profound revelation. Indeed, in our human experience, we are all selling or being sold, moving or being moved, all the time.

Many view sales as cold and inhuman. This is based on a negative experience with what they thought was sales, but in reality, they experienced Sales’ wicked stepsisters: Manipulation and Indifference. Manipulation looks a lot like sales, but her heart is cold, and her intentions are selfish. She chafes the sensible buyer and gives her sweet sister a bad reputation. Would-be sales evangelists are turned off to the concept of “doing” sales because they believe that in order to sell, they must adopt the attributes of the deceptive sister. Indifference is a little less sinister but equally annoying. Indifference claims to be just like Sales but is a vapid airhead simply going through the motions. The truly unfortunate have found themselves on the receiving end of a team-sales pitch from both Indifference and Manipulation at the same time. This is an experience akin to many of the most dreaded preventative medical procedures those of us over 50 endure. This soulless duo is bereft of their humanity and has given their soulful sister a bad reputation.

People say to me, “I don’t want to sell,” quite often. This is largely due to an aversion to the manipulation and indifference wrongly associated with sales. There is also a sensitivity to the rejection inherent in the early stages of sales, but even that is tied to insecurity rooted in a misunderstanding of what sales is. If one believes that “doing sales” means going out and manipulating prospects, any honest human will lack the conviction to push beyond the initial resistance. It is no wonder that there is so much aversion to “selling.”

But here is the truth, as humans, if we are going to accomplish anything in this life, we don’t have the choice not to sell. Why do I have to sell, you ask? The alternatives are the use of force on others or compliance with what others want of me. Psychologist Jordan Peterson frames it this way: “There are really only three states of being: you can negotiate, you can tyrannize, or you can be enslaved.” The wise choice is pretty straightforward.

Sales is simply a proactive win-win negotiation with the world around us. It is the interactive process of expanding our influence and curating our influences. True sales is a curious, connected service to humanity. The struggle, discipline, and creativity required to make these meaningful connections are magnificently mortal. Maybe it is time to flip the script on sales and embrace the humanity of it. I believe the paradigm shift will be profound for anyone willing to make it. Rub some ponder on it for now. More to come on this topic!